A Letter To All My Friends Making Babies

A Letter To All My Friends Making Babies

~ From Literally, Darling ~
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It seems at long last the time has come for the procreation to begin. Where once there were weddings as far as the eye could see, now baby showers and due dates begin to spring up across my calendar. When my phone reminds me it’s such-and-such’s second birthday, this time it’s actually because they’re 2 and not that it’s been two years since I first inputted that birthday. Gatherings that used to be late-night dinner parties slowly shift earlier and earlier in the day, with increasingly more smatterings of children. Gone at last are the days where we were the overgrown kids playing at being grownups. At last, we must be the adults.It’s a hard concept to fathom, that only so short a time ago we were graduating, trying to find a job—any job—and so focused on our delayed start that all the “normal” steps seemed so out of reach. Who had time for marriage, houses, and babies when the debt was stacking up and the jobs were sparse? When you’re moving apartments every year, trying on new degrees to give you better qualifications, and realizing that starter salary you finally got isn’t going to grow unless you magically find a new job, and another one after that just so you can maybe one day hope for the future. For so long even making a salary that could put us in reach of qualifying to buy a place seemed impossible.We’ve been so cautious, so reticent to take bold leaps when the future has looked so uncertain for us. Eeking forward we’ve each taken the tiniest of steps at a time; a used car here, a small salary negotiation there, moving on for better job opportunities and lower costs of living. Slowly I’ve watched everyone pushing that boulder uphill, working toward that chance at the staple of the American dream: a family, a home, and a good job. It’s felt so unattainable for so long it’s blindsiding me to realize some of you are already reaching for it.You’re taking that final step and saying if not now, then when? What is the marker of success that we’ve reached adulthood? Do we wait for a certain salary? The deed to a home? A year without debt? A month without anxiety? At what point did you look at one another and say, “This is the time. We’re ready to be responsible for someone else’s life now?”

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